Today isn't very fun. I feel so stuck. I'm spinning my wheels and I'm not happy.
I am in my 5th year of college and I'm finishing up my last two classes before I graduate with a degree in Psychology. First of all, I'm embarrassed that I'm graduating in 5 years instead of 4 and with a psychology degree at that. I always feel the need to tell people that I took a semester off and started in chemistry, then environmental science, and THEN psychology. And mostly just to get my dumb ass out of school and get a job. Which is true. I just want to get a job and contribute to society and my household and STOP BEING A HOUSEWIFE. This brings me back to my original statements. I AM SO BORED. Dan encouraged me to quit my job at a post office a while back and I was really excited at the time to be leaving because the job as so draining and it wasn't working with my school schedule. But now that I'm only taking two classes.. I'm just so bored. All my friends have graduated and gotten their "big girl" jobs and I am SO happy for them. At the same time though, it makes me feel so crappy. I'm so bored and I feel so depressed and useless and lazy and so stupid. So stupid. I should have graduated by now. And what's worse is I am not sure what to do to make it better. I don't see being able to get a part time job and be all, "So.. I'm going to quit in 57 days when I graduate and get a real job.." but I'm not sure I can make it 57 more days like this. I have got to do something. I'm just not sure what. I want to get a pay check and punch a time clock and get up in the morning and work during the day and come home and have a feeling of worth.
I hate this trapped feeling.
Friday, March 15, 2013
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